Saturday, May 10, 2014

Government Agents vs. Phantom Legion – Chapter 3: The Death Drop


Before “The Death Drop” became a popular attraction at Six Flags Over Georgia And Five Of Them Are Confederate, it was the title of the third chapter in our exciting new serial, Government Agents vs. Phantom Legion (1951), here on Serial Saturdays.  Last week, it looked as if Hal Duncan (Walter Reed)—Special Government Agent—was about to say “sayonara” as his car veered off the road and into a river that looked as if a nearby dam had burst.


What we did not see, however, is Hal’s spectacular leap from his automobile mere seconds before it plunged into the swollen torrents of the Lydecker River.


I love the look on Hal’s face when he gets to his feet.  (“Hannh?”)


The action—and I use that term loosely—then switches to yet another riveting meeting of the Interstate Truck Owners Association.  For those of you who have joined us in progress, one of these four men…


…Armstrong (Pierce Lyden), Crandall (Arthur Space), Thompson (Mauritz Hugo) and Willard (George Meeker)—is in actuality the mystery figure known as “The Voice,” who is working to undermine Hal and his gubmint bosses at every turn by hijacking “critical defense material supplies” because Communism.

HAL: So Regan wasn’t dead after all…the pill he took must have contained some powerful drug that left him in a state of suspended animation…

“Either that…or this serial put him to sleep.”

WILLARD: But how did the rest of the gang know where he was?
HAL: Well, I wish I could answer that question…of course, the authorities at Mercer knew all about him—but it’s hard to believe they’d have connection with the crooks…
ARMSTRONG: You didn’t give out the story to the press…?
HAL: No…I said nothing to anyone except in my report to you gentlemen here…
CRANDALL: You think there might have been a leak from this office?
HAL: There certainly is a leak somewhere

“Speaking of which…let’s put this meeting on hold while I make a pit stop to the Little Trucker’s Room…”

ARMSTRONG: Why…it’s preposterous to suggest that anyone in this room is connected with the criminals…but…one of us might have talked to one…
CRANDALL: I suppose that’s possible…but…this is becoming a very serious situation…
HAL: Yes…it’s so serious that the government has decided to start shipping critical materials by train instead of truck…

“You see how just one bad apple ruins a good time for everyone else.”

WILLARD: Oh…so that’s why my shipment of electronic instruments was cancelled…
HAL: And I’m afraid you’ll lose more government business until we stop these hijackers…

“So suck on that, you bloated government tick…”

ARMSTRONG: Are you keeping up your road patrol and checkpoint system?
HAL (sighing): Yes…all we need is a little luck and we’ll catch them eventually…

How they plan to do this when the shipments are now being transported by train goes unexplained, of course…but pay no never mind—the meeting is adjourned.  The same bit of dialogue seems to be heard every time these minutes come to a close: “If you need any help, let us know.”  (“How about one of you coming clean about being ‘The Voice’?  It would save a few Saturdays in the bargain.”)


Speaking of His Voiceness, a change of scenery finds us in the Metz Building…where the shadowy figure issues instructions to his henchies, Regan (Dick Curtis) and Cady (Fred Coby).

VOICE: We have almost done our job too well…the government is starting to send some of its shipments by train instead of truck…
REGAN: Well…maybe we better lay off for a while…
VOICE: We can’t afford to…I need those electronic instruments to fill a very important order for my best foreign customer…
REGAN: Where can we get ‘em?
VOICE: At least a part of a shipment is ready in a warehouse here in town…

“The rest you should be able to pick up at the Radio Shack in the mall.”

REGAN: Well…any warehouse with that stuff in it is bound to be very well-guarded…
VOICE: It is…but we can take care of that, too…

“The master cable for the central burglar alarm system runs through an underground conduit on Third Street,” explains The Voice.  “Cutting that cable will start all the other alarms ringing, and every policeman in the district will…”  He trails off here, but I’m guessing the rest of the sentence would be “…be otherwise occupied at Ward’s Donuts.”  Honest to my grandma—the other day, I saw a news story on WSB-TV Action News about a guy who tried to hold up a donut shop.  (I think sending him to jail was a positive thing—he’s too stupid to survive on the streets.)


Anyway, The Voice trails off because there’s a dissolve to Regan and Cady opening a manhole cover, allowing Regan to access the “underground conduit” and clip the Master Cable…which he does with relative ease.  As The Voice predicted, all of the alarm systems go off at the same time, unnerving a harried security guard (Ralph Dunn) who identifies himself (he phones the cops from a police box) as McGee.  (“T’aint funny, McGee.”)  As Regan and Cady drive away undetected, a swarm (bevy?  pride?) of cops arrives on the scene and are so confused by the constant ringing of bells they start smacking into one another like something out of a Mack Sennett comedy.


Regan and Cady arrive at the warehouse, where they are welcomed by two of their henchmen brethren.  Regan tells them that “every cop in town is chasing burglar alarms.” Heh heh…stupid cops.  They are then told to “get to work,” and we dissolve and fade in to this familiar door…

…plus a screaming headline informing us of the tomfoolery that the four goons wreaked upon the warehouse.  Hal unloads on Kay Roberts (Mary Ellen Kay), gal Friday of the ITOA…who wishes she had taken the advice of her mother and married “that nice young man with good prospects in the insurance business.”


KAY: So the trucking companies aren’t the only ones being robbed?
HAL: No…but this time the crooks only did half the job…

Crooks be lazy.  Check out that picture on the wall between Hal and Kay—what the hell is that supposed to be, anyway?  I mean, yeah, I know it’s a truck…but why was it put up there?  (“Oh, Miss Roberts…on your lunch hour, I want you to get something to cover up that hole in the wall…something truck-related…”)

HAL: …the parts that were stolen were only half the ones needed to make the instruments…the rest of the parts are on their way here by train…so whoever plans to use them will have to have both consignments…
KAY: You don’t think they’d dare try to rob a train…?
HAL: Well, they might…this stuff is coming in on a passenger train…it’ll stop at Sanborn Junction at 2:40 this afternoon…I’m going out there and post guard on the express car for the trip across the mountains…I’ll call you later…

He’s just saying that, Kay…he never will.  The scene shift finds us at the aforementioned Sanford Junction, where Hal meets up with his enthusiastic but dim sidekick, Sam Bradley (John Packard).

SAM: Everything’s all set…
HAL: Call Kay and tell her the shipment’s in good order…and that a half-a-dozen guards are riding with it from here on…I’m going to stand by until the train pulls out…
SAM: Right!

Walking back around the building in search of a phone booth—no cell phones in those days!—Hal spots one…and also notices that’s occupied by one Skeevy J. Regan!  (Okay, I don’t really know if that’s Regan’s full name—I just thought it sounded cool.)


REGAN (on the phone): Duncan’s put half-a-dozen guards on the express cars…so we can’t go aboard the train to stop it…take some dynamite out to where the trucks are waiting and when the train comes through, blow up the tracks…that’ll work just as well…


Hal is polite enough to wait for Regan to finish his phone call…and then when the goon emerges from the booth he draws his pistola and tells him to grab some sky.  But Hal hasn’t noticed that Regan’s buddy Cady has been watching nearby, so…


…yes, it’s what Republic cornered the market on in motion pictures—a good ol’ fashioned donnybrook.  There are punches thrown for a few minutes, and as the train pulls out of Sanford Junction Cady delivers a roundhouse that sends an unconscious Hal off a loading dock and close to the tracks below.  Regan and Cady make like Casper and lam out in their sedan as a groggy Special Government Agent gets to his feet and rejoins Sam.

SAM: What happened?
HAL: Plenty…

I seem to recall a similar exchange of dialogue in Chapter 2.  Why doesn’t Hal just be honest with Sam?  (“I got my ass kicked, you dinkerplatz!”)

HAL: …the hijackers are gonna wreck that train and steal that shipment…we’ve gotta stop ‘em!
SAM: How?  There’s no other station between here and the mountains and we can’t catch a train with a car…

Speeding, Sam.  Look into it.

HAL: Well, there’s an airport on the edge of town…we’ll charter a plane and flag ‘em down!

“Besides…how else are we going to use stock footage from Chapter 8 of Dick Tracy vs. Crime, Inc.—‘Train of Doom’?”  Our heroes are soon off to the airport and a dissolve finds the two of them at the controls of a private plane…

SAM: Got any idea where they figure to wreck it?
HAL: No…but it will probably be on this side of the mountains…they have to pick a spot where their trucks can get to it…
SAM: We haven’t got much time…

“Sam…be honest with me—don’t you think I look an awful lot like Ralph Byrd with this aviator-cap-and-goggles on?”  So as Hal and Sam are flying the friendly skies, we cut to another sinister sedan pulling up to a railroad crossing.  A thug named Turner (Edmond Cobb) exits the vehicle and tells his podnuh (William Thourlby) behind the wheel “Now take the car back out of sight…tell the trucks to wait where they are until they hear the crash.”  Oh, lordy…this does not look good.  The driver soon speeds off as Turner starts to work his deviltry on the tracks with a detonator and wire.


Back to the skies overlooking Central City.  Hal and Sam spot stock footage of a locomotive speeding along its way, blissfully unaware of the explodiating surprise Turner has in store for it.  Sam brings the plane down a bit so that Hal can signal the engineer…and this happens:


I laughed out loud at that.  “Hiya, Mr. Byrd!” the engineer appears to be waving.  So Hal orders Sam to take the plane up enough feet to allow him to “parachute down in front of him.”  Buh-what now?


As Turner completes the planting of the dynamite, Hal hits the old silk.


Sacajaweeeeeaaaaaa…Hal lands on the train tracks and becomes entangled in the parachute…as the train comes barreling down on him!

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